I've been battling with anxiety, going out of the house, picking my scalp till it bleeds all over and now 2 days ago self harm, My IBS is the worst its ever been and I've been wanting to die almost daily the past 2 weeks.
The only thing that gets me through is keeping busy, I have to have a purpose or I give don't have a reason to live.
I would share the photos of what I've done to myself but it wouldn't be appropriate.
My rock is my partner Gavin, he is one of the good men that really shape and support the family. My kids have no idea how ill I am and I have 3. I think it's great it doesn't affect them because of Gavin stepping in.
I guess what is hard is the crappy NHS mental health service in Colchester and GP service who let you down. And also the family who have no idea how to deal with you.
I look a complete mess, not getting dressed, brushing my hair, or cleaning my teeth regular enough. Everything seems too much APART from work. I love to spend all my time (probably obsessing) over internet work.
I'm quite lucky you see, I set Gav up with work as a copywriter 4 years ago and a year ago it really started to roll. It wasn't until 4 months ago was it sustainable so for the first time in my life there is no pressure to earn money myself. That's so freeing but I get pleasure from building websites and SEO.
My problem is I really want to choose who I work with because I keep ending up with people who take advantage of me. I'm developed a process to field people now and have 2 different forms so I get to work with them for free for a short period of time to see if we work well together.
- Is a free website and seo audit report
- Is a free month of SEO
Obviously I'm getting help and working on myself to beat this bad patch. See I'm feeling better already!
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